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Saturday, May 30th 2009

5:39 PM

Laptop laptop, on my lap, find the perfect mate for this here sap!!

  • Mood: Frustrated

Why is it I can’t just go online and find my soul mate? I mean, really…you can find everything else online. I don’t want to have to go to potlucks, or dances, or cocktail parties, or sporting events, or whatever in order to market myself! Why can’t I go to a website, put my finger on my computer screen, have some do-hicky inside my computer read everything about me and then find my perfect match? Really, why not???

Someone please come up with this device. I have no energy to go to work, try to lose weight, follow my dreams, AND find the time to be social just so I can “open myself up” to finding my perfect life mate.

Thank you

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Sunday, May 10th 2009

10:19 AM

I am...I am...I am...I am....I am...I am not

I was reading some personal ads today…that’s right, some personal ads. Don’t worry, I won’t be doing it again anytime soon, because it was a true lesson in total and complete frustration. All the ads start out with the things ‘they’ are looking for…true love, a companion, romance, sex. Then they list all the traits they are looking for in a person…honesty, humor, intelligence, monogamy, loyalty…then they list the things they like to do…go to the movies, dancing, concerts, reading, traveling, Sunday drives, cooking, gardening, walking on the beach, playing with their animals. They say all these things, and get you so excited because you start to think, ‘wow, I fit into a lot if not all of those things! She’s describing me!’ You can feel your smile widen, feel your heart beat pick up its pace…you can feel the stirrings of excitement and hope lift you up…feel the anticipation of what could be tingling up and down your spine.

And then you get down to the last sentence…that’s right, they wait until the very end, when they have wrapped you up tightly in blanket of excitement and hope…and read the three little letters that drop you unceremoniously back down into that big, deep, gooey vat of reality… “You must be HWP”

 (Height, Weight, Proportional for those of you who don’t read personals.)

Bamb! They slug you right in that fat stomach of yours…the fat stomach that houses all those wonderful qualities they just listed that they were hoping to find in a woman.

And, just like that, all those qualities that they are looking for, that fit you so perfectly, don’t matter…all negated because you are not the one thing that is really the most important item on their list…you must be HWP.

I am also looking for true love…I am looking for a companion…I am looking for romance…I am looking for sex. I am honest…I am funny (make that VERY funny)…I am intelligent…I am monogamous…I am loyal. I like movies, dancing, concerts, reading, traveling, taking Sunday drives (don’t tell my parents), walking on the beach and playing with some animals. (I didn’t list cooking and gardening, because they are not really my favorite, but that’s okay, because we don’t have to do everything together.)

I am all of these things and more…but, I am NOT HWP. How sad for me…and how sad for you that we will both miss out on what might be something special, just because what is added almost as an afterthought at the end of your ad, should have been the very first item on your list. “I am looking for a woman who is HWP”. If you can’t see past my weight, that’s fine, but if that is how you feel…be proud of that. Put it front and center on your ad…and quit messing around, teasing us with false hopes by hiding it at the end.

I am fat, but my feelings are just as real as yours, and my time is just as important…I ask that in your quest for your mate, that you quit wasting it.

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Thursday, September 4th 2008

11:07 PM

John McCain and Sarah Palin just can’t sell it!

  • Mood: Feisty
Over and over again we have heard from the Republicans that Barack Obama is not ready to be President because he has no experience as a Governor or Mayor. Rudy Giuliani reiterated that point in his speech at their convention. Uhhhh...maybe someone should tell Rudy that neither has their Presidential nominee John McCain. Please explain to me again why it is okay for John McCain to not have been a Governor, but it’s not for Barack Obama. Hmmm...reminds me of that saying what’s good for the goose is not for the gander.

Oh, and while we are talking about the importance of having experience as a Governor or Mayor, can I just say that all we have to do is look at the current resident of the White House. George Bush was a Governor before he became President, and look what he has done to this country! So, seriously people, just because you have ‘Governor’ on your resume does not a good President make!

After less than one week in the national public eye, the Republicans are complaining of sexism toward Sarah Palin. Cindy McCain actually went on Good Morning America to complain about how unfair the biased liberal media has been. Are you kidding me? Where was Cindy McCain and her complaints when it was Hillary Clinton running up against massive sexism? Where was Cindy McCain and her cries of sexism when a man stood up in front of Hillary Clinton holding a sign that said, “Iron my shirts.” Oh, that’s right, as long as it didn’t effect them or their candidate it was fine, but as soon as they have a woman in the spotlight they start whining. Of course, what a perfect way to put the media on the defensive, and to distract people from talking about the actual issues...try to get them to feel sorry for Sarah and about how unfairly she has been treated instead. The fact that they jumped on it so fast...again, less than a week after John McCain named her as his choice smells a lot to me like this was their plan all along. The whole thing was contrived. Let’s nominate a woman with our right hand and then wave sexism with our left hand to distract them. How pathetic...using the media to hide the fact that they have nothing new to add to the conversation.

Oh, and that reminds me...they are also complaining about the media talking about Sarah Palin’s pregnant 17 year old daughter, and how that should be a private family matter. Right. Look me in the eye and tell me that if Chelsey Clinton had gotten pregnant at 17 that the Republicans wouldn’t have jumped on that story like a flea on a dog! I can see the headlines now...like father like daughter...how disgraceful to the families in America that believe in FAMILY VALUES...this is why we much teach nothing but abstinence only...how sad for that child to be born to an unwed teenage mother.

I think that if you look up the word ‘Republican’ in the dictionary you will find the definition as: hypocrite.

Sarah Palin said, “Well, I'm not a member of the permanent political establishment.  And I've learned quickly these last few days that if you're not a member in good standing of the Washington elite, then some in the media consider a candidate unqualified for that reason alone.” Uh, maybe someone should tell Sarah that John IS a member of the Washington elite and has been since she was a TEENAGER!!

They act like they are both outsiders going to ride into Washington and “drain the swamp.” Maybe someone should remind them that John McCain has been living and thriving in that swamp for 25 years, and that for the last eight years he has slithered along beside the king snake of the swamp 90% of the time.

John McCain has so little respect for women that he thought all he had to do was throw a pretty woman at us and we would flock to him...praise him for thinking of us. He thought he could swoop up a whole bunch of Hillary supporters by parading a “hockey mom” in front them (don’t you feel sorry for those soccer moms...they get no respect anymore!) He didn’t count on us actually thinking for ourselves...and because of that, he will lose so many more votes than he will gain. Especially when all those Hillary voters realize that Sarah Palin is against everything that Hillary stands for and has fought so hard for.

In John McCain’s speech tonight he went on and on about how we have to fight for this, fight for that...every thought in his head comes through a military filter. That’s what he knows so that is how he approaches everything. Well, guess what John, not everything has to been solved through violence, or the threat of it. Not everything has to be thought of as a military campaign.  He had them all standing and screaming as he keep telling them what they should fight for, and one of many fights was, “Fight for each other.” He said that and I shook my head and thought...yeah right, this is the Republican Party...they only “fight for each other” if you are a white, straight Christian.

The Republicans talk about Barack Obama being an elitist, yet Cindy McCain’s dress tonight probably cost more than I will make in a year, and could be used as a down payment on a house. One pair of John McCain’s shoes could pay my electric bill for a year. They make millions every year and own seven homes. I’m sorry, remind me again why Barack is the elitist and John and Cindy McCain are down home people??

The Republicans are constantly telling us that they want a smaller government. They are constantly telling us they want the government out of our lives.

What the Republicans really want is government out of their pocket books, but intrenched in our lives. They want government involved in every aspect of controlling our lives, our personal freedoms, and our civil rights.

Barack was right...John McCain just doesn’t get it, and in the words of Andrew Shepard, “he can’t sell it”.


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Saturday, April 26th 2008

9:55 AM

Constructive criticism and fan fiction comments

I want to use this forum to talk about comments, and to thank all of you who have commented on my stories over the past four years. Most of them have made me smile, or laugh. Some have truly touched my heart, and every once in a while they have made me cry.

I remember during If It Is Meant To Be when I was writing about Nica’s death and Bette’s guilt,  I received several comments, PMs, and e-mails from women who had all experienced a similar situation. Their stories both broke and touched my heart.

Now, not all the comments have been glowing, or full of praise, which is exactly how it is supposed to be. The whole point of having the comment section is to both encourage, share experiences relating to the story, joke with the author, and yes...when something doesn’t sit right, to tell the author why not. And, while it is not okay to personally attack me, I want you to know that you don’t need to try to hide your disapproval under a thick coat of sugar either. Tell me what you really think!  I WANT to know!  LOL I remember someone left a comment once in a chapter of If It Is Meant To Be that simply said, “This is really lame ” And, while some of you may think that wasn’t very cool, let me tell you that I paid attention to that comment. It made me think twice about where my storyline was going, and how realistic everything I was writing was. Now, could she have worded it differently? Maybe. But, why should she? She wasn’t attacking me personally. She was saying she thought what she had just read was lame. We all speak differently, phrase things differently. I believe she had every right to word that comment just the way she did. And, once again, I would like to think that her comment, just as much as the wonderful, heartfelt, and positive comments help me to become a better writer, and a better storyteller.

If it wasn’t for that last reason (when something doesn’t sit right to tell the author why not) who knows what direction I would have taken on my first story When You Get It Do You Still Want It? I think the original plan was to have the story be short and sweet...you know, just something to get my feet wet. But, I had several people who kept saying, ‘wait a minute Sea, this isn’t gonna fly...it doesn’t make sense...it’s not realistic...I don’t buy this storyline for one minute ’ And I am so grateful for them for calling me on it, because they were absolutely right!  

It was because of those comments that I went back to the drawing board and looked at my story with a different perspective. Honestly, if it wasn’t for those people, I would have never gone in the e-mail direction. It is because of them that I actually sat down and really took the time to flesh out ideas, tried to hear realistic conversations in my head. I truly owe those women a huge thank you for pushing me to be a better writer. To go deeper.

It is because of those women that I realized that I didn’t need to write drama just for dramas sake. Honestly, anyone can write drama...just look at all the action packed movies and books that are so popular. They leave your head spinning as they launch you from one drama to the next. But, they do that to hide the fact (in my opinion) that they don’t have a strong enough storyline, or the writing just isn’t good enough to keep you interested...so they distract you through drama. I don’t want to distract you. I want to just tell a good story that keeps you engaged, and interested, and entertained, not in a constant state of chaos.

I guess I am writing this now because I recently read the phrase “constructive criticism” used in conjunction with comments. And, as I was reading I realized that it really comes down to the simple fact that everyone has a different opinion on the definition of, and a different reaction to  constructive criticism.

Here’s are snippets of one person’s definition of CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM:


“Constructive criticism is criticism kindly meant that has a goal of improving some area of another’s person’s life or work. Often constructive criticism refers specifically to the critique of someone else’s written or artistic work, in perhaps a teacher/student setting, that would allow that person to further improve the work or to improve their approach to future endeavors.

The trouble with constructive criticism is that not all people are receptive to it. They may either feel their self-esteem shrinking under criticism, or they may feel that all criticism is negative. This can destroy the intent of constructive criticism.

Further, not all people who think they are employing constructive criticism are actually being helpful. They may think all criticism is helpful and may not spare the person any details or couch the criticism in ways least likely to make a person defensive. Communication is loaded with multiple intentions, especially in a parent/child or spousal relationships. Thus people may not know how to actually employ a critique of one aspect of a person without involving their own feelings or frustration that make a critique negative.

In all cases, constructive criticism runs the danger of being perceived as negative. In these situations, it is unlikely that any criticism will actually provide help. Even when a person tries to present criticism in a non-emotional way, it may still be considered a personal attack.”


I will end this very long thought by saying to you...I want to be the kind of writer who keeps you engaged, not dazed. I want to be the kind of writer who will entertain you, not distract you. I just want to tell you a story that is so good, you can see the scene in your head...you can actually feel yourself in the room with the characters.

And, if in order for me to achieve that level of writing you feel you need to tell me every once in a while that what I am writing is lame, or offensive, or insensitive, or doesn’t make a lick of sense....then, please...by all means, tell me! Because at the end of the day, we all want the same thing...I want to entertain you, and you want to be entertained.

Thank you again for your constant loyalty to my stories, and to me as a writer. It has meant EVERYTHING to me during these last four years of writing fan fiction.

See you in between the pages!  



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Tuesday, April 15th 2008

12:33 PM

An American L Word convention by and for women.

When I read that Jennifer Beals was going to attend the fifth L Word convention in England, I felt excitement, disappointment, and anger all at once. Excitement, because from what I have read, Jennifer Beals is notoriously shy and doesn’t like big crowds, so what a coup to have her agree to attend a convention where hundreds of eager fans will be surrounding her. I felt disappointment for two reasons. The second I will get to later, but the first was...it’s too dang expensive! Take into consideration the exchange rate, and the fact that I would be flying from Seattle, there is no way I can justify spending approximately $2,000.00 just for a weekend...no matter how much I want to meet Jennifer Beals. Then I felt anger because I thought, why should we have to go all the way to England for a convention celebrating an American television show, owned by an American studio, and paid for mostly by American audiences?

 Don’t get me wrong, I love my sisters on the other side of the pond, and I wouldn’t want to have to wait to watch Bette and Tina either, but it feels a bit like they are being rewarded for watching the current episodes for free, and those of us who are paying for our monthly subscriptions are just....well, are just paying.

Let me preface my second reason for feeling disappointed by saying that I absolutely believe in capitalism, and I believe we all have a right to make a living. I even attended the first convention for The L Word while in England visiting a friend. However, as a lesbian consumer who is still fighting for equal rights here at home, I would have a hard time spending $2,000.00 over there when I know that money isn’t going to help the women’s community here in the United States. Lesbians and gay men in both England and Canada already have the right to marry, while here in the United States it is still legal in the majority of the country (30 states I think) to fire a person solely because of their sexual orientation. Forget marriage...we are still fighting just to keep our jobs!  

Would having a convention here, sponsored by lesbian owned companies, with the profits going towards women’s groups be important to you? Would you be willing to pay for a couple more pictures, another autograph if you thought your rainbow dollars would help bring us a teeny tiny step closer to having the rights and responsibilities already enjoyed by our English and Canadian sisters and brothers?

Of course, maybe they wouldn’t. Maybe that is pie in the sky...but, even if that kind of convention doesn’t open one person’s heart or mind...even if all we do is have a hell of a lot of fun, wouldn’t it be nice to know that our fun was going to touch the lives of women and lesbians in need somewhere in our country?

When we choose to spend our money for a product or services, are the policies of that company toward women and the LGBT community at large important? I choose to subscribe to Showtime because of what they have done to help open hearts and minds by producing Queer As Folk and The L Word. I choose to use Orbitz because they are not only gay friendly, they show it by airing commercials aimed toward a lesbian and gay audience. Now, I’m not saying by any stretch that every dollar I spend has to be for a noble cause, but The L Word is a unique show that has done so much for our community. Shouldn’t a convention celebrating it be unique as well?


So, what do you think? Are you up for an L Word convention here? I am!! I am ready and willing to give my vacation time, and my money (little that it is) to help organize an L Word convention here. I am willing to contact lesbian owned companies to see if they would like to sponsor an event like that, and work with them when they say yes!

Come on American lesbians! If we can put on women's week in P-Town, and the massive parties at Dinah Shore we can certainly put on a rip roaring L Word convention here in the United States!!!!

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