I was reading some personal ads today…that’s right, some personal ads. Don’t worry, I won’t be doing it again anytime soon, because it was a true lesson in total and complete frustration. All the ads start out with the things ‘they’ are looking for…true love, a companion, romance, sex. Then they list all the traits they are looking for in a person…honesty, humor, intelligence, monogamy, loyalty…then they list the things they like to do…go to the movies, dancing, concerts, reading, traveling, Sunday drives, cooking, gardening, walking on the beach, playing with their animals. They say all these things, and get you so excited because you start to think, ‘wow, I fit into a lot if not all of those things! She’s describing me!’ You can feel your smile widen, feel your heart beat pick up its pace…you can feel the stirrings of excitement and hope lift you up…feel the anticipation of what could be tingling up and down your spine.

And then you get down to the last sentence…that’s right, they wait until the very end, when they have wrapped you up tightly in blanket of excitement and hope…and read the three little letters that drop you unceremoniously back down into that big, deep, gooey vat of reality… “You must be HWP”

 (Height, Weight, Proportional for those of you who don’t read personals.)

Bamb! They slug you right in that fat stomach of yours…the fat stomach that houses all those wonderful qualities they just listed that they were hoping to find in a woman.

And, just like that, all those qualities that they are looking for, that fit you so perfectly, don’t matter…all negated because you are not the one thing that is really the most important item on their list…you must be HWP.

I am also looking for true love…I am looking for a companion…I am looking for romance…I am looking for sex. I am honest…I am funny (make that VERY funny)…I am intelligent…I am monogamous…I am loyal. I like movies, dancing, concerts, reading, traveling, taking Sunday drives (don’t tell my parents), walking on the beach and playing with some animals. (I didn’t list cooking and gardening, because they are not really my favorite, but that’s okay, because we don’t have to do everything together.)

I am all of these things and more…but, I am NOT HWP. How sad for me…and how sad for you that we will both miss out on what might be something special, just because what is added almost as an afterthought at the end of your ad, should have been the very first item on your list. “I am looking for a woman who is HWP”. If you can’t see past my weight, that’s fine, but if that is how you feel…be proud of that. Put it front and center on your ad…and quit messing around, teasing us with false hopes by hiding it at the end.

I am fat, but my feelings are just as real as yours, and my time is just as important…I ask that in your quest for your mate, that you quit wasting it.

Yes, that stinks. Unfortunately, we as a society are still hooked on image and appearance. You would think that the lesbian community would be more open to differences. It's their loss, for sure. I say keep doing the things you like to do and keep getting out and about and you're bound to meet someone!

And you know what? a lot of the country is carrying around some extra weight and struggling to deal with it or not. But does that make a person any less human or lovable? I notice the kindness in someone's eyes, the care they have for life and what they are work towards in life.

But with the magazines, t.v. and movies you would think the entire country is a size 00 when the average woman in America is a size 14. Now where is that reality show?


;)